The desire to belong is a fundamental part of human nature.
If you’re an expat abroad who has lived in many different countries or you have dual nationality, then you might come across this feeling that you just don’t fit in anywhere and the people from the country you’re living in don’t accept you.
That’s a problem because when we feel like we don’t belong, we begin to feel alone.
I’ve experienced this feeling many times—born in Poland to a Polish family, raised in England, and now living in Spain, where I often find myself trying to fit in by adopting as much of the Spanish culture as possible in an effort to be one of them. Sometimes, it gets exhausting.
And then there are the native people of that country to remind you that you’re not one of them.
So what can you do when you’re having a nationality crisis and feel like you don’t belong? Here are some key points that I discussed with my psychologist that helped me manage this feeling:
Your nationality is not the most important thing about you and is not the only thing about you: You are not a two-dimensional being, but a complex, multidimensional person with many facets that make up who you are. Your identity is shaped by your hobbies, passions, values, beliefs, and much more—nationality is just one aspect. And of course, let’s just remember that nationality is a social construct that has been fabricated to exist in our minds…
Take all the good things from the cultures and nationalities that shape your identity: Every country has something unique and beautiful to offer, whether it's the food, the mindset of its people, or its traditions. Of course, there are downsides to every place as well. However, you have the advantage of being able to compare and contrast different cultures, allowing you to take the best elements with you wherever you go.
Being a global human is a great thing – embrace it! Remember, you have many advantages that others may not—such as a global perspective, cultural awareness, an open mind, adaptability, and likely the ability to speak multiple languages. These traits can lead to a rich and adventurous life, filled with unique experiences that teach you how to live more fully and meaningfully.
And finally, you are YOU. At the core of it all, beyond cultural labels, national identities, or societal expectations, you are uniquely yourself.